Hi J-Zone, my name is Lisa Mitchell from Fuck-Off Magazine
and I'd like to do this interview with you
Oh really
You released two albums for critical acclaim and acquired a fanbase
but a lot of people still never heard of you
Tell us who J-Zone is
Yeah
Where you're from
Ah
Your goals
Yo
Lifestyle
Ah-ha
The people need informing
Okay
Who are you?
Alright

How did I start? Dumb question
Where am I from? None of your business
You're bluffin, what the fuck is this?
But as for my goal, I want a Caddy, feel me?
And three dime chicks callin me daddy dearly
(Describe yourself) Chicks call me a cheapskate
I mean I took her on a date, she thinkin: me gonna eat steak
I pick up the check if they don't ask too much
But if that menu looks French we goin Dutch
Some chicks would define me as a asshole
Cause the only do' I show will get em boardwalks, so past go
(What about beats?)
I don't make synthesizer beats, blow me
Only Casio I own is my imitation Roley
Rap for free, what the fuck?
(Now what we have here is a failure to communicate)
You ain't gettin promos if you ain't a DJ
Hit Jumpers for beats and get my clothes off of E-Bay
Native New Yorker, hate the Knicks and the Giants both
( ? ) for President's the only way I try and vote
(Do you freestyle?)
Yup, but you can't hear it till you pay me
Up the dough, there you go, that's the spirit
Me do your beats for free cause you the best?
You'll have the hottest acapellas on the planet
(I see, so you don't do beats for free?)
I gotta get my platinum teeth somehow, right?
(Speaking of money, can you survive off music?
Do you have a day job?
Are you really a Old Maid Billionaire?
Or is it all an act?
What about your love life?
Is there a Ms. J-Zone?
What's up with Lucy Liu?
The people need to know)

Do I have a day job? Yes, to rest and dress
Buy gasoline and lean, marinate and look great
Sleep and count sheep, yo, it's a tough nine to four to have
I left the last hour for them kids that want my autograph
(What'd you do if you weren't making music?)
I'd play for the Jets, fuck it, athletes rap
Shaquille O'Neal can plug a mic and spit a rap off?
I could go hut, hike and run a half back toss
(What about your crew?)
Shid, Huggy Bear, Jz
Dick Stallion and my homie Contakt, there it is
Girls think I'm stingy, nah, I ain't believin that
What we ain't bonin? Bitch, gimme my CD back
Cause of this behavior now they don't like me
Zone, I don't trick, that's why I'm bagged up nightly
But as for gettin married, only if it's Lucy Liu
Hey Lucy, if you're listenin, baby, I propose!
But if she has a look-alike and I'm gettin paid right
I don't know, fuck it, maybe, I suppose
But back to Lucy Liu, 'Payback' changed my life
And I ain't quittin till that hottie been named my wife
But bein that Lucy ain't here you my flavor
This interview is done hon, what you doin later?

Yo come here, come here
Yo stop, stop it
(smooching)
Yo, get off me, come on, stop
Come here baby, damn, you got a banger on you
Stop, yo, quit fuckin with me
You got a backyard on you
Stop
Come here
J-Zone, stop
(smooching)
Lift your shirt up
Stop it